The Voyage of the 29th

It was the Best of Times it was the worst of Times, You can Call me Ishmael, a long time ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away, Nah none of those work, They all have that been there done that before feeling, Besides that they are plagiarism. I mean after all I don’t want to sue me on my first Novel. I like to make things my own so I‘ll therefore create my own unique opening. I’m not saying it will be as epic as any of those last three but I like it anyway. Who know I could be the next Steven King, Heck I’ll even settle for Stephanie Myers (we are after all the same age) either way both authors are known for babbling on (like this opening paragraph) and on in their writings and both quite frankly are rather horrifying. Ok here it I after a long wait my not so opening paragraph. I remember when my family doubles in size over night. It was actually before I was born, 27 years before I was born if you want to get fancy. That is right I am 37 soon. That will mark the 65th anniveary of the date I am and have been refereeing too through out this entire opening. If that fact and that fact alone bring about the end of the world does not bring the end to the world as eluded o in the Mayan calendars (hi George) I don’t know what wiill. I mean seriously if the world can out live the 65th anniversary of the 1st ever meeting between our two co vacationing clans. Let me explain what I mean by that you are probably saying o yourself who the Hell are these two families. They are names of my two families. Not my wife family and mine. (I am after all single at age 37.) They are not even the names of my Fathers family and my mothers. My last name is obviously Di Zebba. You can see that on the opening page. (or book cover If I ever get published) They are the names of my mother’s family and my other family. Since my parents were divorced before I turn 4. I don’t really consider the Dorinson my family. I say this for several reasons. My parents were drastically different in age. (13 years to be exact. There is another scary sttitis or fact the 13-year difference in my parents’ age along with the fact they are divorced. Witch may be the reason they got divorced tin the first place.

My First Crush.

I was in sixth grade the first time in your life when you realize girls aren't icky but instead get an entirely different story when you are around them. The object of my affection was Kelli Harmon. She had long brown hair blue eyes and a very thick southern accent. It was the kind of accent that would either turn you off or make you melt. For me the latter was the affect. I was very shy at that time and didn't really have the cuts to tell her how I felt about her. Everybody else in the sixth grade knew it though so did a few of the teachers and staff members. The two most important people who knew were my rival Eric Burrwell and Jamie Cox Kelli's best friend. I told Jamie of my crush on Kelli because I knew I could trust her, and also because she was always to talk to. Jamie is not the one who blew my secret, it instead was Eric Burrwell. He told Kelli one day of my crush. He did it right in front of me making no attempt to be the least bit subtle about it. That through was not the most crushing blow. For Kelli handled it well and we became the best of friends. The more embarrassing situation happened when I wanted to improve my friendship with Kelli to something more. Whatever that was in the sixth grade. I taped one of my favorite love songs for her and brought it to school. I was going to give it to her in history class the only class we had together that year. History class was right after lunch. That was the longest morning of my life. The tape I made never got to her. I left it in my book bag before lunch. I was to hungry to remember to take the tape out of my bag, and to young to think to give it to her during lunch. Eric Burrwell however did not forget about the tape. He stole it from my book bag and turned it in to Ms. Harris. Who promptly played it to the entire class during lunch. She said it had no place in school and that she did it to teach me a lesson I however strongly disagreed. Kelli never spoke to me again. She ignored me for the rest of the school year. She didn't return my phone calls she even stopped talking to Jamie for the role she played in our friendship. The following year we went to different schools I never saw Kelli again.

A Triple Murder Score

Three Discovered Dead at Local Store By: Morris Walker Trumpeter Writer It was a wild and ironic scene at a local grocery story last evening. There were at least three employees found dead at the scene, as others remain unaccounted for. Officer R.J. Wild was first to respond to multiple 911 calls made late last evening. When Officer Wild came on to the scene it was apparent things had gone very, very, wrong. "All I know is the shit hit the fan and things got out of hand before I got there." While reports are unclear it seems like the bodies of William "Iceman" Heart, Heathcliff Jon Westwing as well as possible murdre Morris Walker were shot time and time again as a lone gunman opened fire in his home store. The name behind this alleged assailant is rumored to be that of Morris Walker (No Shit Tech) and recently named Best Bagger in District 9. "We are still not sure if it was a dispute over a bagging contest or if Mr. Heart just said something to infuriate the alleged assailant." says A. Kullolli crime scene investigator for people who don’t know any better. " I feel like I know these people for some reason." The order of the shots is still unclear. All investigators know is Walker opened fire on himself after making swiss cheese out of his other two cohorts. That is right, Swiss Cheese much like the product sold in this store’s corner deli. The bodies of both Heart and Westwing were riddled with bullet holes and found dead in two different sections of the store late last night. While Heart's body was found near register "2". Westwing was discovered in the back of store crawled up into a human ball near produce section's emergency exit. Police can only surmise that he was headed for back door without realizing the door in question was bolted close. A small cart was found mere inches away from the victim’s body and Mr. Westwing's possessions lay within this cart. Investigators can only assume why there were so many footprints found in a circle near this crime scene. With three dead and several more unaccounted for it seems like it may be some time before "The Truth" can be uncovered.

My Dream in Early March!

A newlywed husband gets into the back seat of a mint green car. He has in his hands four cups of coffee. He is is talking as he opens the back door. “I told you weren't going to get anywhere honey.” The traffic is at a standstill.” He then looks to the front of the car. “You’re not my wife! What happened?!” Some lady just changed lanes into the fast lane without looking she was instanonisly hit. The ambulance just carried her off seconds ago.” The passenger said. The husband panics and realized the driver in question had to be his wife. He grabs the cell phone and calls 911. He gives his wife's name the year model and color of the car and even what mile marker they are on on the highway in question. The receptionist tells him his wife is still in transit. They don’t know anything and his best course of action would be to come down to the hospital right away. The car he’s now riding in is being driven by a young man and his wife in the passenger seat. The husband/ driver explains that where he has to go is just as important as his wife’s accident and that he can’t possibly he take him to the hospital. The protagonist of the dream proceeds to tell the driver how wonderful his wife is. He describes beauty and then tells of all her charity work . The entire time he realizes that he is getting further and further the hospital. His wives’ life on the line he knows time is precious and that he must turn around. .

Ten Forward

Guinan’s Guide to Ten Forward Regiurments: (These are a must!) 1 card face up = Starter 10 cards face down (2 rows of five.) 3 card hand (face down) Ace High First Rule: You must say out loud “Higher” or “Lower” before turing over next card on the table. Terms (Thou shall not be broken!) Expose Pile: Cards seen face up or exposed while playing the game. This includes any cards seen by accident or turned over in “by accident”. You may use a card from your hand at anytime if you don't like the 'face up' card you are looking at. If you run out of cards in hand and yada yada yada you lose. If the same cars comes up three ties in a row (aka three 7s) you simply move on to next card. It is a free pass or a give. Push = Two identical card in a row (Ex: 10 of hearts & 10 of spades.) Dicard Pile = All seen or exposed cards. This includes card that one may have seen or accidenty flipped over whist playing. This requires a new card from your hand. Futher regualtions or more rules Do not reshuffle “used” or Expose pile. If you have any card left over in deck, you win. Yell “Whoopi” and have a drink!

My LIfe

I guess from the start or in the beginning I was destined to b Christian. I mean after my all my name is the first book of the New Testament. I was born on Christmas Eve, and Matthew means “Gift of God?” So you might say it is my forgone I would choose Christ as my Savior. I love is more writing. If you are reading this you know that already. My strength is movie reviews. I do write Top Ten lists as well but cinema is my greatest compassion. In both cases my movie reviews as well as my writing were inspired by motivational teacher. My 3rd (and also 4th grade teacher Mrs. Zulick was mi initial inspiration. She got me into a wring contest way back in 1983. Was only in the 3r d grade but she pulled some strings and pushed some buttons to get me into a writing contest called “The Young Author’s contest. Appropriately enough my story had a cinematic tie in. It was about a stuffed animal a baby Ewok. I lost it at the beginning of the school year and wrote about the adventures it must have gone though when I found it at the end of the following school year. I managed to match the description of the torn and tattered Best Friend and mixed that in with my imagination for the perceived adventured it must have gone though to make it back to that lost and found on my Elementary school campus. I won an award for the Contest. I was (due to Mrs. .Zulick ‘s tampering)the youngest person to ever win the award and the first student to win such and honor on his first entry. The following year I took the contest more seroiusly and tried to up the ante. I of course lost and made the realization that one can never capture the moment a second time. Chapter 1 The High Schol Daze In High schhol I was always writing. I felt naked with out a pencil in my hand and with out a notebook to write in. At the time my stories always involved my friends and were fantasy or adventures. I fantasized about the twins who sat in front of me in Life Science and wrote them into my stories. It was fairly perfect that they were neither identical in looks or personality. It was perfect that one was sweet and the other sour. The “prettier” one admonished me for my faith and insulted or tested my religious believe at every happenstance. The more subtle one and also quitter be friend me since I was the best person (and only) student she know that was not intimidated by her evil “step sister” It was from these wombmates that I learned tow concepts so often seen in the world of cinema. The Evil twin story as well as the Cinderella concept as well. These two feuding roommates also taught me two important life concepts as well. A) never judge a book by it’s cover and pretty and popular do not always make a “Better person” I preferred the less attractive twin. Ironically now that same concept comes into play with the “Twins” I have befriended in college. I am now a huge fan of the Women’s soccer team. I wrote three pieces for them in my one year while on staff of a student lead newspaper. My confidence while on staff for that aforementioned newspaper grew greatly and to this day it has fueled my indolence. I see a spark or glitter in my self more colorful that on the 4th of July.

Letter to my Co-workers

Dear Crew and Co-Workers: As thanks giving day is not too far away I urge you to remember what the day stands for. It is a day to give thanks and praise and to honor those people and persons who deserve it. I plead with you all to honor and give thank to Carol Ann Kleckler. She has been our Head Store Manager for over a year now. WE owe her some respect. She has kept us afloat through two hurricanes, (check dates) an Earth quake (Pa’s 1st in decades.) and even an early November blizzard. Yet people malign her on daily basis. In her tenior we have incorporated many new employees both transfers and new hires. Most of you reading this letter in in those aforementioned categories. I therefore implore you all to remember that you still have jobs. The (reported) unemployment rate is up to 8%. The only reason the number is that low is since many people have been unemployed so long they stop counting them. I know for a fact that everyone reading this has a job and you should be grateful for that fact.