Kitchen Dodge Ball

Simon walks in to Mark's Apartment. There are dishes, bowls, pots, pans and various kitchen appliances sprawled through out the living room. Mark is hunched down behind the living room sofa; witch is pushed over on its side and being used as a barricade from flying kitchen debris. "I love what you've done with the place" Simon quipped. It has that tornado look going for it. What happened?” Simon asked. "I might have, maybe perhaps, sort of, called your sister fat. I think." Mark replied. Dish flies overhead. "You think? I would say so. Simon stated matter of factly. Large kitchen fork is flung through the air. "I think you pissed her off. That's what I think." Simon stated bluntly. What exactly did you say about my darling sister? Bowl comes flying out of nowhere. "Well" Mark started. "All I said really was, yes." Mark hesitated. Several projectiles that resemble kitchen knives come out of the kitchen. "What was the question?" Simon inquired bluntly" Bunt pan penetrates the air with great velocity. "Do I look fat in this?" Mark answered with utmost hesitation. Several cans of Alpo dog food escape the kitchen door. "And you said yes to that?" Simon stymied" "Exactly how long have you been married to my sister? A rolling pin breaks the surface of the wall behind them. "Two years in September. "Mark answered proudly. " And not a day has gone by that I don't appreciate her for her radiant beauty" A trashcan breaks the window of the living room. "Then why on God's green Earth did you call my sister your wife, fat?" Simon inquired. Mixing bowl shatters apart on the sofa in front of them. "Um, You see, it's like, She's kind of showing." Marked replied with hesitation. A teapot shimmies across the surface of the coffee table landing in front of the sofa. "Showing what?! Showing how?! Your divorce attorney is going to be showing you papers if you keep up talking like that." Simon bellowed. "No, No, No, nothing like that." Mark answered matter of factly. Old fashioned salt and paper shakers escape though the opening from the kitchen. Landing inches from Mark's now ducked under head "Nice job honey you almost got me" Mark tried enthusiastically" A cutting board comes out of nowhere. "She's showing." Stated matter of factly. "You know her pregnancy." He filled in. Simon's jaw dropped to the ground and his eyes starred blankly at his frightened brother-in-law. "Wh Wh What Simon stuttered." "You didn't know?" Mark questioned. "I thought She told you." I'm sorry you're gonna be an uncle. Naomi's Pregnant, two months." "Congratulations sis" I always knew you'd make a great mother some day I guess that days going to be sooner than later. "Thanks sweetie." Elizabeth answered through grunts. “Ughhh! You'll be a wonderful uncle too. As for the father figure, I'm not quite sure right now.” A microwave oven breaks through to the plane of the kitchen entrance crash landing on the glass dinning room in the room between her and the men. Heavy breathing emanates from the kitchen. Elizabeth is seemingly out of breath. "You ready to talk now love muffin?" Mark asks hopefully. "I would hope so." Simon answers, finally able to stand upright and relieved that his sister was finished with her seemingly deadly wrath driven rampage. " I mean really honey you've thrown everything in there but the kitchen... "Sink!!!" The two men say together. Mark and Simon run screaming out of the front screen door kicking it off its hinges as they exit rather hurriedly. There is a sea of appliances and other objects sprawled though out the living room.

The Purple Soccer Ball Award

The first person to receive the ‘Purple Sock Award’ was the main lady I contribute for leading me to Christ. She was the head cheerleader my high school. Our colors were purple and gold. She was also leader of our on campus Bible Study in 1992. Over years the unique award has gone to a special friend(s). The award has gone to many special ladies for various reasons. They have all meant someone thing special to me and had a special unique meeting in my heart. For you ladies. I turned it into a purple soceer ball. This ball was found disregarded and ignored in the parking lot I work in. I could relate to this ball before my time at your university. I felt ignored and disregarded much like the ball. Now every day when I walk on campus a beautiful young lady calls my name. None are more special or more highly cherished than you ladies. Before my time at on Campus I hated soccer. I openly maligned everywhere. Including in the house of my home Bible study and residential dwelling of an college student that uses Soccer as a missionary guise to reach impoverished ill knowledged potential Christians. My mother and stepfather gave out purple socks as s stocking suffers and the tradition lasted with my mom longer than second her marriage. I have continued the tradition and made it my own. It has now lasted ten years longer than my mother’s life. I give it not only in my mothers fortitude, but also in the Lord's, they make up my own. These two aforementioned spirits are part of the man I am today. One pair of socks went to the first person I met as I walked into sanctuary of my church. An inspirational young lady I will never forget. She has some thing in common with many of you. + Her name is Kara. + She is a twin. + Her Birthday is February 16th. The original prize went to a lifeguard I meet in 2008. She was my main inspiration for returning to school. Her name was Mara; This prize is for all of you however. Every soccer player (Women’s and boys) past, present and future. May they all inspire a 38 year old autism student like me to donate both heartfel time and effort as openly as I have over the past two semesters. P.S. There is may yet be more great “Gifts” to come just as long as you keep on kicking but and scoring goals for God.