A Triple Murder Score

Three Discovered Dead at Local Store By: Morris Walker Trumpeter Writer It was a wild and ironic scene at a local grocery story last evening. There were at least three employees found dead at the scene, as others remain unaccounted for. Officer R.J. Wild was first to respond to multiple 911 calls made late last evening. When Officer Wild came on to the scene it was apparent things had gone very, very, wrong. "All I know is the shit hit the fan and things got out of hand before I got there." While reports are unclear it seems like the bodies of William "Iceman" Heart, Heathcliff Jon Westwing as well as possible murdre Morris Walker were shot time and time again as a lone gunman opened fire in his home store. The name behind this alleged assailant is rumored to be that of Morris Walker (No Shit Tech) and recently named Best Bagger in District 9. "We are still not sure if it was a dispute over a bagging contest or if Mr. Heart just said something to infuriate the alleged assailant." says A. Kullolli crime scene investigator for people who don’t know any better. " I feel like I know these people for some reason." The order of the shots is still unclear. All investigators know is Walker opened fire on himself after making swiss cheese out of his other two cohorts. That is right, Swiss Cheese much like the product sold in this store’s corner deli. The bodies of both Heart and Westwing were riddled with bullet holes and found dead in two different sections of the store late last night. While Heart's body was found near register "2". Westwing was discovered in the back of store crawled up into a human ball near produce section's emergency exit. Police can only surmise that he was headed for back door without realizing the door in question was bolted close. A small cart was found mere inches away from the victim’s body and Mr. Westwing's possessions lay within this cart. Investigators can only assume why there were so many footprints found in a circle near this crime scene. With three dead and several more unaccounted for it seems like it may be some time before "The Truth" can be uncovered.